when you show others freedom is possible

the impact may not be what you expect

Last week, I wrote to you about emerging on the other side of a major transition. Please forgive my use of the tired butterfly metaphor in that post. But unlike butterflies in their dark, solitary chrysalises, our human cocoons are more like glass houses with the world looking in on our ugly disintegration and reformation. We live in communities as interdependent beings, which often requires us to be visible through every awkward phase of transmutation. (I mean, most of us don’t also publish a book about it like a freaking masochist, but I did!)

Not only can our loved ones watch us flounder gracelessly when we answer that inner call to rebirth ourselves, but from inside these transparent metamorphosis vessels, we can fully see, hear, and feel the responses of others the entire time. In my midlife passage, I underwent some of the top stressors that adults can endure—a global pandemic, divorce, moving twice, “coming out”ish + starting my first queer relationship, shifting my career, lea…