resting winter face

the spark that happens when we answer the season's call to rest

This picture is indicative of what I’ve been doing in December in between seeing clients, writing, and intermittent gift wrapping. I’ve been snuggling on my couch with my kitties. I’ve been cupping a mug of warm tea in both hands. With tired eyes, I’ve simply been staring at my Yule tree’s twinkling lights like a baby might stare at a mobile. There’s something in it that transports me, similar to the feeling of gazing into a fire. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I was born on the winter solstice and brought home from the hospital on Christmas Eve 1975, where a glimmering tree was one of the first things to greet me earthside.🎄

I am absolutely, shamelessly, guiltlessly surrendering to the cozy pull of hibernation the season naturally lures us into. We fight it when we feel like we have to be productive, little capitalists, but I say HUMBUG to that notion! Instead, I’m gonna take Mary Oliver’s sage advice and “let the soft animal of [my] body love what it loves.” And that’s… well, softness and my sweet animals!

I want to share with you what I’ve noticed so far while moving with this seasonal energy instead of fighting against it: In all my sweatpantsiness, horizontality, and twinkle-light-gazing, I am being visited by new, creative sparks! This is a fundamental truth of who I am — I have a system that needs ample rest and spaciousness in order to be rooted in my true nature as a creatrix, a gatherer, a lover, and a starry-eyed human.

As Elizabeth Gilbert wrote in Big Magic:

I believe the creative process is both magical and magic. Because here is what I choose to believe about how creativity functions:

…The only way an idea can be made manifest in our world is through collaboration with a human partner. It is only through a human’s efforts that an idea can be escorted out of the ether and into the realm of the actual.

Therefore, ideas spend eternity swirling around us, searching for available and willing human partners (I’m thinking about all ideas here - artistic, scientific, industrial, commercial, ethical, religious, political.) When an idea thinks it has found somebody - say, you - who might be able to bring it into the world, the idea will pay you a visit. It will try to get your attention. Mostly, you will not notice. This is likely because you’re so consumed by your own dramas, anxieties, distractions, insecurities, and duties that you aren’t receptive to inspiration. You might miss the signal because you’re watching TV, or shopping, or brooding over how angry you are at somebody, or pondering your failures and mistakes, or just generally really busy. The idea will try to wave you down (perhaps for a few moments; perhaps for a few months; perhaps even for a few years), but when it finally realises that you’re oblivious to its message, it will move on to someone else.

But sometimes - rarely, but magnificently - there comes a day when you’re open and relaxed enough to actually receive something. Your defences might slacken and your anxieties might ease, and then magic can slip through. The idea, sensing your openness, will start to do its work on you. It will send the universal physical and emotional signals of inspiration (the chills up the arms, the hair standing up on the back of the neck, the nervous stomach, the buzzy thoughts, that feeling of falling in love or obsession). The idea will organise coincidences and portents to tumble across your path, to keep your interest keen. You will start to notice all sorts of signs pointing you toward the idea. Everything you see and touch and do will remind you of the idea. The idea will wake you up in the middle of the night and distract you from your everyday routine. The idea will not leave you alone until it has your fuller attention.

And then, in a quiet moment, it will ask, “Do you want to work with me?”

As 2025 draws to a close, I’m resting like it’s my job. (Because, in a parallel universe that’s not ruled by greed and hustle, it is!) I am intending to listen. to be still. to snuggle up. to put my nervous system in a place of ease where the lightning of inspiration can strike me and light me up! Gilbert wrote, “Ideas of every kind are constantly galloping towards us, constantly passing through us, constantly trying to get our attention. Let them know you’re available.”

So far this month, I’ve felt receptive to committing to a couple new trainings and creative experiences, I’ve been inspired to gather my people in ways that actually don’t stress me out, I’ve dreamt up offerings for YOU for next year, and I’ve even rediscovered knitting after more than a decade without needles in my hand. (It’s kinda like riding a bike — but cozier, easier, and indoors-ier. Score!)

This is my last note I’ll write to you from my forties. I can’t wait to return in a couple weeks to tell you all about crossing the threshold into my fifties. But like, I’ll probably cross it while laying down by the Yule tree in my pajamas, flanked by two cats and my girlfriend, dreaming up colorful dreams…

• watching: This Way Up on Hulu (because I’m waiting for my kid to get home from college for their holiday break to start watching all the holiday movies! 🎅)

• listening to: This cozy, holiday playlist has been playing in the background of everything that’s happened in our house all month all month (except when I’m listening to John Denver + The Muppets or Brandi.)

• planning: my 50th birthday! I already had my party last month, and my actual birthday (on the winter solstice!) is for introspective time, coven time, one-on-one time with my beloveds, and personal ceremony. I’m also dreaming into how to connect individually in the coming weeks and months with other friends, near and far, in ways that feel meaningful.

• creating: truly exciting new offerings for 2026! I’m lit up! Stay tuned right here, Sugarplums!

This pic from a couple Decembers ago (when I had longer hair) popped up in my photo memories today, so I thought I’d share it with you in the spirit of being exactly who we are. SHAME BEGONE!

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