paradise lost

the dawn of disillusionment + the re-enchantment with truth

I was nine years old when my dad left. In my memoir, I write:

One June evening, my dad confessed to my mom that he had been having an affair with a woman from work and that he would be moving out. The night it happened, I had a friend visiting for a sleepover, and we were playing on the swing set in the backyard when my mom came out to tell my friend she had to go home because we were having “a family emergency.” After my friend got picked up, I went to my room and played records while I anxiously awaited hearing about the emergency. My dad came in and told my little nine-year-old self that he was going on a business trip. Then he packed up his red Toyota pickup truck and left. I knew a work trip could not be the family emergency, but I didn’t ask questions.

My kid was nine years old when I began to feel the ache of needing to express and explore my queerness in the world. (They’re now almost 18.)

Many of the midlife women I work with in my coaching practice have a profound awakening of …