frida kahlo, billie eilish, glennon doyle, + me
what do we have in common? (even though we're all so unique, dammit!)
Romantic. Creative. Intense. Self-aware. Insecure. Sensitive. Honest. Not easily satisfied. Empathic. Dramatic. Truth-seeking. Aesthetically-oriented. Self-absorbed. Deep-feeling. Focused on what’s missing. Expressive. Fear of being ordinary. Authentic. Envious. Heart-centered. Chronically misunderstood. Temperamental. Intuitive. Melancholy. Artistic. Desire to be seen as unique and special. Those are just some of the traits of an enneagram type 4 — for better or worse, no judgement. I’m a type 4 on the enneagram, and apparently so are these lovely humans:
what’s the enneagram?
According to CP Enneagram Academy, an enneagram training program led by awesome enneagram teachers, Beatrice Chestnut and Uranio Paes:
“The Enneagram is a personality type system of nine interconnected personality archetypes or types. Each of those nine types is connected to four others arrayed around a symbolic diagram. The Enneagram describes three “centers of intelligence,” nine personality “types,” and twenty-seven “subtypes” that provide an amazingly accurate picture of personality in terms of the patterns associated with the way we function.”
Scholars have linked the enneagram’s origins to various world wisdom traditions, including Christian mysticism, Islamic Sufism, and Jewish Kabbalah. In 1916, the Armenian philosopher George Gurdjieff first coined the term “enneagram” to describe a specific nine-pointed spiritual symbol. “Ennea” is Greek for nine and “gramma” means figure. The enneagram symbol is a circle with a nine-pointed star depicting the layout of nine core personality types.
why is this useful?
The enneagram has been useful in my own life, and I often share this system with my coaching clients. This system helps us to understand motivations. (As an example, the core motivation of a type 4 is to be truly, deeply understood for who we are, and we consistently avoid being inauthentic and insignificant.) It validates and gives us language for our personality, strengths, and challenges in life, and looks at how we are in relationship to ourselves, others, and the world. It aids in compassionate communication with couples, in friendships, on teams, etc.
what type are you + what’s that even mean?
The most robust enneagram tests* cost money to take, but here’s a decent and free enneagram test you can take online. Start with the one labeled “enneagram test 1.” Once you learn about instinctual variants or subtypes, you may also want to take “enneagram test 2.” (lower down on the page).
*Note that no enneagram test is accurate, and only you can determine your enneagram type. I usually see that people find their type when they're like "eek, that hits too close to home" when reading about the shadow parts of the type. If you’re anything like me, you’ll know your type when you’re reading and you’re like “oh shit, how did they know?”
If I went into all nine types here for you, this post would be hella long… but you can learn about all nine types right here in detail.
what’s it like to be a type 4?
As I said above, I score strongly and consistently as an enneagram type 4, and I relate to pretty much everything I read about fours. You can click here for an awesome description of what it means to be an enneagram type 4 and/or you can listen to me talk about it as a guest on a podcast called Deep Diving with Enneagram Fours, where enneagram practitioners, Victoria and Bryce, asked about my enneagram journey. Have a listen here:
my lingering curiosities about the enneagram:
Personally: I’m still unclear about my own subtype or instinct, as I relate to all three of the subtypes underneath type 4, and I’ve had a few different typing interviews and taken typing tests where I have landed on each of the three. Am I a sexual 4, a social 4, or a self-preservation 4?
Professionally: I wonder about how the enneagram overlays other typing systems and life experiences such as the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator, human design, astrology, attachment style, trauma, etc…
reading: The Art of Typing is a great resources to distinguish between two different enneagram types for those whose self-assessments come up kinda close.
podcasting: The teachers I like so much, Beatrice Chestnut and Uranio Paes, have a podcast with really informative and interesting episodes:
learning: I’ll be attending Susan Piver’s 3-hour workshop called “Enneagram of Love” on July 21 to learn more about “what we wish others knew and accepted about us in loving relationships and how to be more fearless in our own way of giving and receiving love.” Check it out + register here if you want to learn more. (She’s also an excellent enneagram teacher!)
featured in: If you’d like to check out an excerpt of my book, you can find it on
in this week - complete with prompts that turn you toward what your inner voice is trying to tell you.
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