conscious goodbyes

ghosting, bomb dropping, lingering... what's your 'peace out' style?

In my family, we had this sweet joke about my Nana (my maternal grandmother) lingering in her goodbyes on the phone. If one of us was on the phone with her, the first time she said “goodbye,” we’d hold up a finger to begin a count, signaling to the other family member in the room that one goodbye had been said. Then she’d inevitably bring up a new topic after which she’d say a second “goodbye.” Two fingers held up. Then she’s start a third conversation, and say a third “goodbye.” Three fingers. Like clockwork, after three times, we’d actually say our goodbyes and hang up the phone. And it wasn’t unique to her — all of the women in my family, myself included, are lingerers at goodbyes.

Saying goodbye to someone we care about can be difficult, and it's never really perfect. As a culture (or maybe as a species), we're just not that good at it. We all handle goodbyes differently, in ways that might have been modeled for us by early caregivers or ways relationships may have ended without ou…